What do I do?

Well here he is after 2 nights Respite. Back home and full of it. 

Mum has lost her identity - who she once was. A loner in this isolation. What do I do.

Boring to some! MAYBE.

I relax in a bath with my candles lit.

I have a glass of wine. 

One only, you don't know if you will be called out in an emergency. It's worse than being a Doctor on Call.

Watch a film. You could hear a pin drop! Even our cat asleep! The silence.

I have no energy to go out even if wanted to. You rest. You catch up on sleep if you can. You just chill. 

The only thing is! How do I get my Brain to switch off? It's on overdrive every waking minute. Try as I might it just keeps buzzing around with thoughts. What if this? What if that?

What if he has a Seizure and I'm not there.

This is my life folks and many many others also.

This is Epilepsy on a wider scale of things. My Son, not a clue the stress, the distress your under... Everything you do to try and keep him well. He's in his own little world where nothing matters. Time doesn't exist in his world of complexity.

Mum does the necessary worrying for both of us. Way it has to be.

Silence has broken now...he's home and he's happy but moaning. Everything annoys him if not going his way. Hard as it is - you cope. You have to, as no one else understands your life unless there.